Review: Daring Greatly
Over the last six months, I’ve been reading Brené Brown’s Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead, and I can honestly say that it has changed the way I think about life and my relationships. Prior to buying this book, I had only vaguely heard of Brené Brown. I read and shared an article featuring her thoughts on trust in relationships in like 2019 and listened to Super Soul Sunday podcast linked in that article. But I hadn’t really bought into the Brené Brown hype.
Photo courtesy of Netflix.com
However, as fate would have it, I was bored at home one weekend in October, and I decided to watch her Netflix special “Brené Brown: The Call to Courage.” I was immediately intrigued by her sense of humor, her affiliation with my alma mater (Go Coogs), and the subject of the special— vulnerability and wholehearted living.
During that special, she mentions this book, which was originally published in 2012, multiple times. Because the Netflix special was so inspiring, ordered the book, and started reading it as soon as it arrived.
Overall, I give this book 4.5 out of 5 stars; and there are only a few reasons for the half-star penalty.
The first reason has to do with my own reading preferences. This book is insightful and entertaining at times, but it is nonfiction. Don't expect the same thrill or excitement you might get from a novel. Instead, expect to learn new things about human psychology and shift your thinking around topics such as shame, vulnerability, gratitude, and resilience.
My second, and probably largest, critique is that Brown chose to gender how people experience shame. This rubbed me the wrong way for a couple of reasons. The first is that I identified much more strongly with the male shame triggers, the male experience with shame, and the metaphor Brown uses to explain that experience, despite my womanhood and my feminine qualities. This discordance immediately made me feel that Brown's approach to conceptualizing shame is somewhat flawed. Secondly, while I may be able to see some practical benefit in gendering shame, I also feel that Brown unintentionally excludes or alienates those who are gender fluid, non-binary, or simply androgynous.
My final critique of the book is that some of the antidotes Brown uses to convey a point or communicate an idea are entertaining. Others are…. fluffier and slightly less entertaining.
That said, none of these critiques are damning. I still enjoyed the reading, and I genuinely believe the information has improved my quality of life. In roughly 250 pages, Brown addresses the culture of scarcity currently haunting society, and misconceptions about vulnerability. She introduces the ways people shield themselves from shame and teaches readers how to build shame resilience and start living a more wholehearted life.
I would suggest purchasing your own copy of this book, which is a rare recommendation for me. However, I’ve heavily annotated my copy. I have highlighted passages. I’ve circled and underlined things. I’ve even written a little note for myself in the back cover. So, if you’re really trying to get the most out of your reading experience, you should go ahead and purchase your own copy. This also feels like a good time to mention that this book does have a reading guide at the back, which really functions as more of a workbook given its topic and contents. Unfortunately, I didn't realize that the reading guide was there until after I finished reading, but I did answer some of the questions that Brown sprinkles throughout the chapters in my personal journal, so I at least have that. There’s also a worksheet version online.
Overall, this has been a wonderful reading experience. I feel like Daring Greatly should be required reading for all adults, and I plan on purchasing it as a gift for my relatives this holiday season.
